Since there’s been little else of note going on in this blog lately I’ve contemplated making it just a blog in which I post about all the idiot customers I have to deal with. Trust me, there are plenty. No, I won’t do that, but here are a few gems from the last couple of weeks:
- Is it warm enough for me to sit in the garden or should I sit inside?
Did he just teleport from his house into the bar or what?
- You must be going out drinking every night then?
- Well, you said you don’t have TV
Clearly there is nothing else to do for recreation other than watch TV or get drunk.
- There is no milk in our coffee
- You ordered two black coffees?
- Yes, but you didn’t bring milk
- Because you ordered two black coffees
- Always bring milk
- OK. Sorry
Maybe I should always bring alcohol with non-alcoholic beer, and a chunk of meat with the meat-free burger too.
After accidentally walking into the kitchen instead of towards the bathroom:
- Yeah, bathrooms are through the next door, unless you’d like to do some of the cooking?
- Just joking, no problem. Bathroom’s through there
- I don’t want to do the cooking. I was just looking for the bathroom
Ah, the Austrian sense of humour.
Tables and chairs all still up, door locked, lights off - no signs whatsoever that we’re open yet. Some guy knocks on the door and just walks in when I open it to tell him we’re not open yet:
- You’re open right?
- Not yet. (I gesture to all the upturned furniture and look at him incredulously)
- Great, so where can I sit?
- We open at eleven. Sorry.
- What? Oh, well you might want to give some indication that you’re closed.
- (I gesture to all the upturned furniture and look at him incredulously)
- So you’re not open?
In future I will set the place on fire until opening time.